Saturday, June 18, 2011
Module 7 Blog Prompt
Today, a growing number of persons with disabilities are fulfilling their desire for marriage and life-long partnership with a significant other. However, though many strong advocates of people with SPD support the idea that persons with SPD should have independence and be integrated in their communities, many such advocates do not envision those adult outcomes as including persons with SPD expressing their sexuality (---a perfectly normative QOL outcome of adulthood). . Comment on the ways in which this is evidenced in the video. How might a teacher brooch the subject of sexuality as a critical aspect of transition planning?
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I loved the video! Lifelink is a wonderful program that should be provided in every school system. Sexuality is a hard topic to discuss with your own child, much less someone else's child. This is also a touchy subject with parents and must be handled with great care. During the meeting, the teachers played the subject off with joking, not wanting to deal with the situation. I think the issue of sexuality would be something that as a professional, I would have to put it out there at an earlier age and start discussing with parents. The students, on the other hand, sought out apartments where socialization was a key element. The students looked for social areas, such as a clubhouse, weight room, pool, and hot tub where they could meet new friends. I feel that many parents do not think their child with disabilities will ever live on there on and do not even worry about sexual issues. One student had just learned to bathe himself, which his mom thought he would never do. One could tell it was the main issue with the students. At the end of the video Jesslyn said as a result of Lifelink she was more mature around boys and at social events. It is a very scary issue because these students are just learning to be independent and meet vital everyday needs.
ReplyDeleteWow! Where can I sign up to be a transition coach with LifeLink?! I am in love with this idea. I know of many schools who teach these types of skills within the classroom setting, but actually have an apartment complex based on teaching these skills is absolutely revolutionizing to me. As for the topic at hand, I honestly believe they were trying to avoid the topic of sexuality at all costs. When they show the clip of the panel that tries to balance the needs of the families with the desires of the students, you see a lady making a big red "X" for walks with the opposite sex and to live with the opposite sex. That was all that was mentioned of it. For the remainder of the video, it is easy to see that the coaches and other adults involved in LifeLink speak of living with friends or roomates, or even at home. Never once is it about living with a romantic partner.
ReplyDeleteThat to me, is so sad. This is something that I have thought about for at least two years after I watched an episode of Law and Order:SVU in which two twenty-something year olds have graduated from a program like LifeLink and fell in love with each other. However, when they want to get an apartment together, their families object because they do not think that two mentally-retarded people should live together and are not capable of having a romantic relationship. How sad. Who are we to say who someone can or can not love? The whole idea of LifeLink is to have students become as independent as possible, yet, we are telling them they have no control over their own heart and feelings? This is supposed to be reality based education. Love is a part of reality. I can understand the arguement that families do not want to see their child get emotionally hurt if a relationship were to break up, but what family doesn't want that? Love doesn't know whether a person is disabled or not. If you find someone that understands you, and you understand them, there's a connection there...and it may just be romantic. How can we deny these rights to someone just because they are disabled? It literally breaks my heart. Everyone has love to give. We shouldn't stop that.
As a teacher, I think we should make it aware to other community members and to families that if the student finds someone who loves them and they love them back, that is going to make them happy. Ellen Campbell, the first parent shown in the video, stated that her son is happier when he has a sense of independence. We should show parents that loving someone is an idependent choice their child is making and that is what makes them happy. I think advocating more for the happiness of the student is something that should definitely be discussed more instead of just blatantly being ignored.
And just a sidenote...As a society, we seem to put people with severe disabilities into this category of not being "normal". Yet, when they were going apartment shopping, they looked for the exact same things "normal" people would...a weightroom, close to stores, near a bowling alley. Also, I bet some bratty child from "My Sweet Sixteen" wouldn't know a fitted sheet from a flat sheet because they've never had to make their own bed. Why do we sit there and classify them as some sort of second-class citizen who doesn't have feelings and can't do certain things when they do the same things as us? Sorry...soapbox...but it just drives me nuts.
Christy-
ReplyDeleteI agree that sexuality is a scary subject for any parent to discuss with their children. If it weren't, I think we may not have such an epidemic of teen pregnancies. Unfortunately, many people just laugh it off like they do in the LifeLink video. I think the topic of sexuality is something that should be taught in schools more...because if the parents aren't trying to do something about it...then someone needs to. I could get on another soapbox about this but I won't to save everyone from listening to me...haha :)
What a fantastic program for students! I absolutely loved the fact that this program provides its students with the opportunity to design the program to tailor their own personal needs and that they are allowed to move at their own pace. Through the Lifelink Program, students who more than likely have never felt self sufficient in their entire lives have the chance to experience real life situations and learn through trial and error. Perhaps one of my favorite parts of this video was the two young men at the grocery store. One of the students knew they needed more money to pay for all of their groceries. Rather than panicking about what to do, one student simply walked to the ATM, withdrew $10 more dollars, and paid the cashier. These sorts of things happen on a regular basis, and without Lifelink, these two young men may have never been able to work through a situation like this. With all that being said, Lifelink did fail to address one quality of life aspect which is sexuality. Discussing sexuality can be “awkward” with just about anyone, especially students. Parents who have been the primary caregiver of their child with special needs are very fearful of change and more than likely have never even considered the fact that their child may have sexual needs and desires. In the video, we saw the teacher with an older group of students discussing going on walks and visiting members of the opposite sex. One of the female students was very eager to put down that she would want to do those things with the opposite sex rather than the same sex. The teacher said she believed these things should be addressed at an earlier age, but didn’t really elaborate on the subject from what the video showed us. Students in the general education classroom setting are put into a sexual education program at a very young age; I know mine was in the seventh grade. So why is it that a 22 year old cannot express themselves sexually just because he or she has special needs? There seems to be somewhat of a double standard when it comes to expressing one’s self sexually. This situation reminds me of a movie made in the 90s that for the life of me can’t remember the name (I even tried searching for it online, and still had no luck!) which depicts a young girl with special needs beginning to transition from high school to adulthood, her parents are both extremely protective and fear that if she lives on her own, she will hurt herself or someone else may put her in danger. After much consideration from her parents, they let her move into her own place. At her school, she meets a young man and quickly falls in love. The girl immediately becomes sexually interested in him and begins asking her mother about sex, protection, and how reproduction actually works. The mother is horrified and immediately wants her daughter to move back in. The girl’s sister, a free spirit, convinces the mom that this is a natural part of life and persuades her to let her sister live her own life. Exploring one’s sexuality is a part of life regardless of the fact if you are disabled or if you are not. I understand that it is a touchy subject, but if we want to provide students with severe disabilities with a quality life, it’s something we must talk openly about with them. I believe as educators, we should be as up front and professional about sexuality as we can. If a student has a question, ask them to meet with you after class and discuss their question in an appropriate manner and explain to them that what they are feeling is normal. I think too many times we forget that SPD students are just like us and have needs and want to live a “normal” healthy life. Just as the young girl said in the opening scene of the video “we just want to live, in a real world, you know?” As teachers we should always remember these words and do everything in our power to make these students as independent as possible, and yes that means talking about sex.
ReplyDeleteThis video was a very interesting video to watch. I never knew a program like this existed. I enjoyed watching it and hearing what the different students had to say. When I worked with people with special needs at one of my jobs, I knew they lived with their parents, and that they couldn’t drive, but I always wondered would they ever be able to? I know that probably sounds naïve, but I thought that it would be very hard for them to live on their own. After watching the video, I realized that when you have people in the apartments like they did in the video, helping them and teaching them that they can learn these skills that they can one day live on their own. I believe that it is very important that they have these skills and they learn them outside of the classroom.
ReplyDeleteAlso, during this module, I came to think about this movie called The Other Sister. The other sister is a movie about a girl who is mentally challenged and moves back to her parents after living in a boarding home and she meets a guy who is also mentally challenged and works and lives on his own. She wants to live on her own and they eventually fall in love. This movie covers so many more issues that come along with this topic. Even though this movie was made in 1999, obviously this topic has been a concern of people’s before. I believe that if they find someone they love then they should be able to marry and fall in love. Also, though, I believe that they should evaluate the situation and if they can’t support themselves yet, then let them live with one set of parents, but allow them to be a married couple. This was a really good module and I enjoyed watching the video and opening my eyes to something new.
Kimberly,
ReplyDeleteI agree so much with your comments.
"We should show parents that loving someone is an independent choice their child is making and that is what makes them happy. I think advocating more for the happiness of the student is something that should definitely be discussed more instead of just blatantly being ignored." I also agree that people with disabilities are seen as second class citizens which is just horrible. They deserve to experience the happiness that comes with relationships just as anyone else in adulthood. I also agree than some "normal" teenagers(myself at that age) are less prepared to live independently than some of my students with severe intellectual disabilities. Life-Link with additional instruction in responsible sexuality would be perfect.
Elizabeth,
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you and Amber may be talking about the same movie. I vaguely remember it ,and it was very good. I also loved the fact that the students designed their own program. Self-determination is such an essential skill. As with everyone else I feel Life Link was very good but should have addressed the concept of sexualtiy more instead of just giggling about it. I teach students at the high school level. I can assure everyone that everyone of them expresses an interested in the opposite sex. We should never deny these indviduals the right to pursue it. We should provide quality instruction in responsible sexuality. Our multineeds teacher is doing a great job addressing these issues with our students in transition class and I put in good words every now and then in math.
I think the Link-program is something that should be implemented nation wide. I would like to be a part of organizing a program. The program should definitely add instruction in responsible sexuality. I think parents those of individuals with and without disabilities tend to nurture instead of letting their children gain independence. I think starting to introduce this independence in high school is a great idea. I think it would be excellent to get some mature students without disabilities to live at the apartments as well. Students would have to be carefully screened and be provided with training similar to what paraprofessionals get. Sexuality is a QOL issue. I did not see this as an issue until I began teaching. At first I was wrongfully hesitant about allowing students to pursue relationships deeper than friendships. All people have the right to pursue love and marriage. Quality instruction in the use of birth control and safe sex practices is essential for all individuals not just those with disabilities. As special educators we must advocate for this for our students.
ReplyDeleteAmber-I like that you brought up a movie about this topic. I too had brought up a television show dealing with this. I am also reminded of the movie I Am Sam starring Sean Penn and which he loses custody of his daughter because of his developmental disability. It baffles me that Hollywood is willing to take on these subjects for films and television, yet, in education, we seem to ignore these topics when we are the ones who are part of the people directly dealing with this. What can we do to solve this?
ReplyDeleteChristy,
ReplyDeleteI loved your post, and I do agree that parents that have children with disabilities seem to have a hard time thinking that sex will never be an issue. This is so funny to me because sexuality is so innate. I feel that it is not the school's major responsibility to inform the children about sexual issues but the parents should educate their children at an early age. I feel that it is needed because children with disabilities are targets for sexual abuse just as much as a typical child. So, should we ignore sexual issues because the subject matter is uncomfortable? I feel that this will only hurt the child in the long run as an adult, making a possible beautiful experience traumatic.
Ginger,
ReplyDeleteGreat post. I do agree with you stating that children that attend general ed should be involved with this program as well. You will be so surprised at how many children with and without disabilities are not ready for the real world. This relates to activities of daily living and sexual issues. We have nurtured our kids to the point that so may are immature when it comes to taking care of themselves and practicing responsible sexual behaviors. I agree, high school can be a good start but I think even earlier these days, like middle school. We as special education staff do need to take a stand to promote independence and responsible practices.
I do believe that sexuality is such an important issue to discuss. I feel that it should be essential, in regards to transition planning. I really do believe that the Life link program is incredible, and is much needed. It is so sad that in watching the video, you could tell that the educators were somewhat embarrassed when mentioning examples, such as wanting to walk with same sex person, or opposite sex. This will be an issue because I really do believe that sexuality is an innate behavior. It is so important to educate these students at an early age about sexuality, and what is appropriate and what’s not. Parents are only fooling themselves if they think that sexuality is or will not become an issue with their children. One of the girls in the program said that the program has helped her become more social and comfortable around boys. Therefore, you know that this must was an important issue for her.
ReplyDeleteSexuality is a QOL issue. As an OT we have to teach clients that have acquired disabilities the safest and most functional way to have sex, because the issue is so important for them to feel independent. Why should the issue be different for individuals with developmental disabilities? In an age where the media exploits so much sexuality we have to equip our kids on what is appropriate and what is not. Therefore I feel that the transition program should include training on sexual issues as well. This can be incorporated in showing them how to be socially appropriate with their opposite sex peers. How to go to dinner with the opposite sex, watch a movie, walk in the park or even how to sit by the pool and engage in appropriate conversation with the opposite sex. Teach about abstinence, disease and safe sex. All of these issues should be addressed in the program but in an interacting fun way. As special education staff we do need to put forth an effort to make sure our students are equipped for real life adult situations, and sexual issues are a big part of adult life.
I was surprised to see individuals with severe and profound disabilities exhibit such high levels of independence in the “Lifelink” video. All too often, society views individuals with disabilities as being nonsexual beings. Too many people look at individuals with disabilities and wonder how anyone can view them in a sexual manner. If these individuals reached adulthood, then they went through puberty. They have the physical appearance and capability of adults, but all too often their mentality does not match. This being written, I believe the issue of sexuality should be approached with caution with regards to these individuals.
ReplyDeleteIn the “Lifelink” video, the young adults with severe and profound disabilities again and again expressed their interest in socializing with other individuals who lived in the apartment complex, at which they resided. They wanted to socialize with their peers; they realized socializing would help them develop friendships with their neighbors. Professionals and family members involved in this process recognized the young adults’ interest in developing platonic relationships; however, the professionals and family members appeared to steer away from the issue of romantic relationships and sexuality. Not one of the segments of the video dealt exclusively with sexual relationships. At one of the meetings, the idea of sexuality was met with humor. Through my own personal experiences, individuals occasionally use humor to deal with stressful or scary situations. I believe this is what occurred at the meeting.
I remember watching an episode of “Law and Order: SVU” in which a young women with Down syndrome was impregnated by her boss. She did not even realize what she was doing with her boss. He told her that they were exercising. She though want they were doing was innocent, because she had not taken part in the sexuality course at the center where she spent a majority of her week. Her mother did not want her to take the sexuality course, because she did not believe it was inappropriate for her daughter. Ignorance was not bliss in this case. The daughter’s innocence might have been protected if she had taken the sexuality course. She would have known that what her boss was doing was wrong.
As previously stated, I believe the issue of sexuality should be approached with caution. I believe educators should have the written consent of parent(s) and/or guardian(s) before they discuss the issue of sexuality with their students. The last thing any school system or educator desires is a lawsuit as a result of an educator stepping over their boundaries. After written permission has been attained, I believe an educator should locate a professional to teach a course about sexuality or teach such a course themselves. I believe an adequate course would help prepare students with exceptionalities for sexual situations they may encounter in the future. Whether parent(s) and guardian(s) want to admit it or not (as evidenced in the video), individuals with severe and profound disabilities have sexual thoughts and urges. These individuals need to be prepared to live in a sexual society. At the very least, these individuals need to have access to developing romantic relationships, which is something their nondisabled peers have access to on a daily basis.
Christy,
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you about the issue of sexuality being a touchy subject for parents. As you stated in your post, all parents have a hard time accepting that their children will be involved in romantic relationships. Parents must realize this is a necessary step in the journey towards their children becoming truly independent. All too often parents of children with severe and profound disabilities focus on their children’s limitations. These perceived limitations hinder the children from reaching their full potential. Parents need to cut (or at the very least loosen) the apron strings in order to allow their children to experience life to its fullest, even though this may be a scary issue as you stated in your post.
Jonathan Christian
Amber,
ReplyDeleteI believe I have seen the movie, entitled “The Other Sister”. If I remember correctly, Dianne Keaton played the role of the mother in the film. I am glad you summarized it in your post. As with you, I believe individuals with severe and profound disabilities (such as mental retardation) should have the opportunity to marry, especially if they have access to a significant number of natural supports. If I remember correctly in the film, the mother is concerned about her daughter dating someone. In the mother’s mind, the daughter is dating a nondisabled individual who is taking advantage of her. However, the mother is relieved to discover her daughter is dating an individual with exceptionalities. I do not believe she would have warmed to her daughter’s romantic relationship if her daughter had been dating a nondisabled individual. Most individuals with exceptionalities (who are involved in romantic relationships) are in relationships with individuals who also have exceptionalities. After writing this, I wonder if society would be as accepting of romantic relationships where one individual has severe and profound disabilities and the other individual does not.
Jonathan Christian
Dr. Marcia Braden has developed a Social Compass program that emphasizes public and private behaviors. It is designed for students with Fragile X, but could be used for other students as well. She has worked closely with my school district and has some great ideas.
ReplyDeletehttp://marciabraden.com/?page_id=19&category=3&product_id=1%20.
Jonathon,
ReplyDelete"I wonder if society would be as accepting of romantic relationships where one individual has severe and profound disabilities and the other individual does not" I too wonder this. The students with severe disabilities who I teach are interested in their peers without disabilities. A few years back we had a high functioning girl on the AAA dating a young man in advanced classes. I do not feel he was taking advantage of her, though I could see that as a possibility for some indviduals. They just liked each other. I think as a society we are too judgemental when we see individuals who have differeneces together such as a man in his 20s marring a woman in her 50s. Who are we to judge others in a relationship that makes them both happy?
Jonathan,
ReplyDeleteI feel this incident you mentioned from Law and Order happens far too often. Children with SPD need to be educated about sexuality, especially the dangers of something such as sexual assault. Although it may be a difficult concept for them to understand, they still need to be aware of what to do if such a horrible thing occurs.
Timothy,
ReplyDeleteI also noticed how the teachers got someone embarrassed when discussing concepts related to sexuality. How can educators expect students to behave in an appropriate manner if they get uncomfortable and make jokes about sexuality rather than be up front about it? Teachers should behave and respond to situations the way they would like their students to.
somewhat*
ReplyDeleteKristy:
ReplyDeleteI agree with your post. I like how you connected it to “ Law and Order: SVU”. And I agree that we should make the community aware of them falling in love. It’s almost like I fall in love, why can’t they? And I agree that as society we do not look at them as “normal”. I think that it is how society is and I think it will take us to change that viewpoint!
Jonathon:
I like your post and how you made the connection to a “Law and Order: SVU” episode. I think that by the students not participating in the sexuality class or learning about it will keep them vulnerable and could have them taken advantage of. If the parents want to introduce it first then have the school take over then they should, but they should have it to where the students can also ask questions and learn that we date people that interest us and we do not just go for the first person like them.
LifeLink sounds like a wonderful program that would benefit persons with disabilities all over the world. The planners in the video touched on so many areas but when the subject of just taking a walk with the opposite sex came up, the one lady refused to entertain the notion at all. I think it is a shame that she would not cooperate so that they could discuss a real issue in these young adults’ lives. I teach at the high school level and our school had a field day event where all the students went to the baseball field and played games, hung out, read books, etc. The teacher of the students who are self-contained loaded her class up in her van because a couple students were not able to walk as far as they needed to in order to get to the baseball field. I had to sit in the front seat and face the back because one of the students was always attempting to hug, kiss, and touch the boys in the class. She was experiencing those feelings and instead of addressing them, we just “watched” her to make sure she wasn’t doing anything she shouldn’t do. I think that many times people with disabilities are treated as if they are not smart enough or experienced enough to deal with sexual feelings and therefore they are dismissed. If individuals with disabilities are ever going to be successfully integrated into society, we must address ALL issues.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis video was very interesting. Life link seems like a great program. In the transition course that I took last semester I constantly thought about the relevance of the transition activities in place. As I heard one teacher in the video say, “The classroom is really just a simulation of real life.” If you want to teach real life skills, then you have to do it in real life. The topic of sexuality is a difficult topic to discuss in general. Society generally frowns upon this kind of talk. However, it only makes sense that if student need direct instruction on most other social skills that they would probably need direct instruction on this skill as well. Also, the purpose of this program is to give the students a quality of life. They do not have to just “sit around the house.” They can actually have a life. Part of having a life includes sexuality. Also, if students watch any television, or really step outside the house, then they are presented with topics of sexuality. Students need instruction on how to handle these issues when the arise. Students with SPD deserve the same quality of life as any other individual. Although some do not believe that sexuality should be addressed with students with SPD, sexuality is part of having a quality life and should be addressed with all individuals.
ReplyDeleteFarah,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story. It is interesting to see this topic being discussed and applied in a real life situation. It is truly sad that no one addressed these young girls’ emotions and explained to her how to properly handle and express them. The teacher can monitor the student while she is in the classroom; however, what happens when she graduates and begins to try to hug and kiss on her employees. As teachers, I feel that we have to think about how we are preparing our students for the future. We cannot afford to just think about the "here and now." I saw a similar type of behavior in one of my student teaching experiences. A student that I had would try to hug everyone. He did not understand social cues and that some people did not like to be hugged. So, instead of just saying “DON’T DO IT,” we decided to try to correct his behavior and replace it. We taught him that instead of hugging he should shake hands. It took us a while to teach him to proper way to express himself, but he eventually learned and still uses the replacement behavior.
Ginger,
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you. Teaching sexuality is a quality of life question. Not teaching this topic essentially limits the quality of life of the individual with disabilities. I mentioned in my post that it only makes sense to provide direct instruction on this social skill, and it seems like an essential part of instruction. How can we as special educators leave out something this important? It would be like a government teacher leaving out the bill of rights! :) (You know the history teacher had to throw some in here!)
Timothy,
ReplyDeleteI agree that sexuality should be addressed with all students. I too noticed how the workers at Lifelink acted embarrassed and even refused to discuss the issue when it was brought up at the meeting. I think that too many problems are treated with an "if we ignore it, it will go away" mentality and this is obviously not the case.
Brandi,
ReplyDeleteI agree with your statement that society frowns on discussing sexuality. It isn't supposed to be talked about yet everywhere we look it is thrown in our faces. Too often parents and responsible adults feel that engaging in an informative discussion about sex will encourage children to act on their feelings. I believe just the opposite. I sure wouldn't want to depend on reality television to educate my child about sex.
Kimberly,
ReplyDeleteI also agree with you regarding the issue of parents talking more openly with their children about sex. It might be an uncomfortable topic, but I definitely agree that it would prevent some unwanted pregnancies.
Timothy,
ReplyDeleteI also agree that sexual should be discussed to protect the child. You are right in saying that children with SPD are just as susceptible to sexual abuse. I think that they could be more at risk because of certain disabilities, such as being non-verbal. We have to be advocates for children with SPD to protect them and their rights.